I’ve wondered throughout the years, if I had been a gold digger, would I have been more respected, more appreciated, more loved by my brothers. My best friend actually purchased a book for me entitled "Why Men Love Bitches," by Sherry Argov. I started to read it. But I also started to cry while reading because I wondered, if I had been some kind of idiot. “Where did I go wrong!” “What did I miss!” And when I asked my mother, she laughed and brushed me off with, “Silly! Why would you want to be a gold digger.” I snapped back, “Because Mom! These women get the respect! Men are turned on by being asked for money! They like it!” And of course my mother asserted, “Oh Portia. That’s silly.”
At 41, it appears I missed the boat. I’ll never learn the science of gold digging. God didn’t create me that way. While I am very street savvy (most of us from Paterson, NJ are), I am incredibly naïve to gold digging. God had something different in mind for me. I am a b-girl born again Christian who loves hip hop, break beats, salsa, music, dancing, God, and my kid. I know I’m different. And it hasn’t been easy, but I believe I am a lot closer to what God intended for his daughters to be than the Basketball Wives are. It is very disheartening when our brothers choose the gold digger. It’s hurtful when the everyday, hard working, God fearing woman, gets pushed to the side, for a stripper and a gold digger. Money and sex, it appears, always win and I look forward to the day when it won’t.
For those of us women who aren’t the gold diggers, who simply love because we love you, are in desperate need for respect. Some of us don’t care about a Benz or a Rolex. Honestly, I really don’t know the difference (I CAN HEAR MY BEST FRIEND TELLING ME TO SHUT UP; I'M SHARING TOO MUCH). But I guess, my mother showed me how to have class without the Gucci bag. Classy was character. Classy was being a lady. Classy was education. Classy was not attached to material things. Our grandmothers were the granddaughters of SLAVES. When they went to church, they always wore a hat and gloves. They were the epitome of class. And the women today have lost that. Gold digging and walking outside with a bra on, shows insecurity. Surely sex wins in the natural. I know I can’t compete with every woman with a g-string in the world. But that’s not where God resides. God is what makes me radiate. God is what makes me beautiful. Beauty stems from God, not things.
When I surrendered my life to Christ, I asked for a makeover. And he has. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, but the women who are beautiful according to God’s standards, their light will never dim. That is the beautiful my brother’s should seek. Not a woman who wears a ruby, but a woman who is one.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
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