I bet some of you don't have that "something" you feel you want or need because you're more moved on emotion: fear for example. If that's you, then you and I have a lot in common. I hate to disappoint here, but I have always felt that transparency heals. And that's why I am here. To heal. So, let me keep it real with you. I struggle with trusting men. Even worse, when God tells me to trust him and not man, many times I rebel. In other words, instead of believing God's Got This, emotion sets in, experiences race through my mind, and the emotions drown out God talking to me, and The Holy Spirit, well, all of a sudden He doesn't seem to make much sense. In fact, I recently had to repent for not picking up a phone call God told me to. God said, "Portia, what's right?" And I shrugged, "I know what's right, but I'm not doing it." BIG MISTAKE. I think about it and say if I were in that boat and Jesus told me to come walk on the water, I would've been the one disciple to say, "Who? Me? Uh, nah, I'll pass." When we don't do what is RIGHT, when we ignore God, you'll pay the price for it. Your decision might FEEL right when you're in the thick of your emotions, but as the emotions level out, we learn emotional decisions are some of the worst decisions we'll ever make in life. Satan and I happen to war there-right in my emotions.
So, how do you do better the next time? Well, have Christian accountability partners and mentors who love you, know YOU and walk in the Spirit. My mentors let me know when I think I'm Julia Roberts on my "Runaway Bride" tangent. Also, I ask myself, "what is the right thing to do Portia? What are the consequences to following your emotions? What has happened in the past when you ignored God? I know it FEELS like you have the right to feel this way, but what would Jesus do?" If I had asked those questions and LISTENED, I probably would be married right about now. With that said, don't trust your emotions. They lie. Your feelings are often damaged or fickle due to past wounds, experiences, opinions. So, base your decisions on God's Word and leave the consequences to HIM no matter how you feel. I know it's scary not to control circumstances especially when it involves your heart, but whatever it is that you want, it will involve some risk. I'm not crazy about risk, but trusting God means me being the wife I know I am. Moving forward, if you don't trust God, ask for forgiveness and ask him to help you in your unbelief. Let's learn to trust together. p
Mark 9 v 23 – 24:
Recommended Reading: Joyce Meyer "Living Beyond Your Feelings"