While it sounds good, I don't always do what is right.  I do what feels right, which is probably the reason why I'm single.  I know it's been a question for some of you.  While I am divorced six years and recommend everyone taking time to engage in a personal, intimate relationship with Christ while single, I'm not single at this point because I want to be.  I'm not ready.  Why?  Because I move on feelings when it comes to relationships and not always WHAT IS RIGHT.

I bet some of you don't have that "something" you feel you want or need because you're more moved on emotion: fear for example.  If that's you, then you and I have a lot in common. I hate to disappoint here, but I have always felt that transparency heals.  And that's why I am here.  To heal.  So, let me keep it real with you.  I struggle with trusting men.  Even worse, when God tells me to trust him and not man, many times I rebel.  In other words, instead of believing God's Got This, emotion sets in, experiences race through my mind, and the emotions drown out God talking to me, and The Holy Spirit, well, all of a sudden He doesn't seem to make much sense.  In fact, I recently had to repent for not picking up a phone call God told me to.  God said, "Portia, what's right?"  And I shrugged, "I know what's right, but I'm not doing it." BIG MISTAKE.  I think about it and say if I were in that boat and Jesus told me to come walk on the water, I would've been the one disciple to say, "Who? Me?  Uh, nah, I'll pass."  When we don't do what is RIGHT, when we ignore God, you'll pay the price for it.  Your decision might FEEL right when you're in the thick of your emotions, but as the emotions level out, we learn emotional decisions are some of the worst decisions we'll ever make in life.  Satan and I happen to war there-right in my emotions.

So, how do you do better the next time?  Well, have Christian accountability partners and mentors who love you, know YOU and walk in the Spirit.  My mentors let me know when I think I'm Julia Roberts on my "Runaway Bride" tangent.  Also, I ask myself, "what is the right thing to do Portia?  What are the consequences to following your emotions?  What has happened in the past when you ignored God?  I know it FEELS like you have the right to feel this way, but what would Jesus do?"  If I had asked those questions and LISTENED, I probably would be married right about now.  With that said, don't trust your emotions.  They lie.  Your feelings are often damaged or fickle due to past wounds, experiences, opinions.  So, base your decisions on God's Word and leave the consequences to HIM no matter how you feel.   I know it's scary not to control circumstances especially when it involves your heart, but whatever it is that you want, it will involve some risk.  I'm not crazy about risk, but trusting God means me being the wife I know I am.  Moving forward, if you don't trust God, ask for forgiveness and ask him to help you in your unbelief.  Let's learn to trust together.  p
Mark 9 v 23 – 24:
Recommended Reading:  Joyce Meyer "Living Beyond Your Feelings"

One of the hardest things about being in the music business is it’s so ego driven.  Everything is based off of “me” and arrogance and “survival of the fittest only the strong survive.”  Shout out to Mobb Deep by the way (smile).  But it’s difficult to be in a business where kindness is seen as weakness; where stepping on toes is ok as long as you get ahead; and where pride is an asset.  So, when I surrendered to Christ and decided to attempt to live life HIS WAY, I knew what the risks were.  I knew I could
possibly lose my job and I knew my character would often be tested.  But I was clear on who I was in Christ and that nothing was more important than living a life of purpose. While everyone focused on Hollywood, I focused on the KINGDOM first.  And so, I knew most people wouldn’t understand that, but when you stand for God, you can’t be shady about it.  You can’t be interested in what people don’t understand.  You have to focus on who God called YOU to be and keep it moving, no matter how NUTS you might look sometimes.
 
With that said, you can be attractive to the world, and unattractive to God. When I chose God, I realized the world could find me
unattractive, but I was willing to take that risk. I decided, I would be willing to lose the attention and respect of others, to gain God. I was willing for my peers and colleagues to look at me and say, “Portia, has lost her mind with that God stuff.”  I was
simply willing to wait on God, even though I couldn’t always SEE why I was doing so.  
  
In life, you have to figure out who's heart you really want to capture-God's or the world's. The respect of the world is so temporary and disloyal, but often glamorized and popular. I chose God, which is not always easy, but comes with eternal benefits that never change. Living on purpose is way more important to me than being popular.  Pride will rob you of your purpose each and every time whether it's in your career or relationships. Be cautious of pride and being popular, and whenever you sense pride making a move, reposition your ego and give God the glory. Arrogance and confidence in the Lord are not the same. One is all about you; the other is all about God.  

Romans 12:3  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in
accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 

How many of us have friends that are involved in sin?  I mean we all sin, but not all of us are involved in a "lifestyle" of sin.  Either way, part of you maturing in Christ is making sure you have the right people or “disciples” around you so that you can live on purpose and be in God’s will.  If you haven't grown as a Christian in a few years; in your relationships; in your career; it
could be the people around you. In other words, you are who your friends are in many respects.  
 
Choose disciples that force you to live on purpose. If you have people around you who agree with everything you do and don’t “set you straight” this is NOT a good thing.  Just maybe your growth is stunted because the people around you feed you the wrong things. In fact, you’ll find yourself picking up the sins of others.  For example, if your friend is committing adultery and you assist in any kind of way by helping that adulterous act to take place, you’re kind of picking up the sins of others.  When your circle is up to no good, you’ve got to know when to hold them accountable and sometimes when to walk away. At times we have to force people to grow and to be better.  THAT'S LOVE.  Love isn't agreeing when things are wrong; love isn't staying quiet when you know you're friend has an ungodly behavior.  Jesus would call them out on it, with love, but he still would point out disobedience.
 
I had a situation a long time ago where I felt deceived by a friend.  I went to people close to her to hold her accountable for ungodly behavior and found, some people don’t have the courage to say, “No, it was wrong.  You're not thinking with the mind of Christ."  These friends of ours would tell me they thought this person was wrong, but didn't want to tell her.  And then I learned, it takes courage, especially when you’re non-confrontational, to take a stand and say, “I love you friend, but that’s sin.”  Depending on how close you are, the friendship can still continue, but true friends hold each other accountable and aren’t’t afraid of hurting feelings.  They simply want their loved one to be in God’s will because THAT is the very best life has to
offer.
 
So, continue to ask God to surround you with friends and family who can keep it real with you and to also give you the courage to keep it real with others when needed.  Life is already a challenge.  Don’t inherit their junk of others.

With the recent death of Whitney Houston and a recent interview with a celeb friend of mine, a nerve has been touched with me
that I haven’t felt in a long time.  I’m so disappointed in the media.  I’m also disappointed in the reader and consumer who believes everything they hear.  I’ve made a career in marketing and since 1996, have had to work quite closely with radio, press, TV and more.  But lately, I’m almost sick.  Angry by the smear campaigns.  Angry that those in media aren’t involved in journalism, news, informing the people, but damaging the reputations of people.  I’m tired.  And while I have loved Hip
Hop, music and entertainment, I pretty much HATE the music business.
 
I’ve shared with some of you my recent project, Faith and Hip Hop: The Hip Hop Testimonies which is a compilation of stories
from MCS, Rappers, Producers, Engineer, Music Executives and more, sharing their journey in the music business.  When I first started getting my feet wet in 1985, we didn’t have million dollar budgets.  All we had was Faith and a Passion for Hip Hop. 
And so, we were forced to have more respect for each other and our crafts.  Today, I see little respect for Hip Hop, recording artists, our pioneers and legends, who without them, I wouldn’t even have a business to work in.
 
On a spiritual note, it doesn’t sit well with me because God has made clear to me, my calling is to spread love.  And my calling is no more different than anyone else here on this earth.  So, whenever viciousness is shared, I feel ill. The God in me is unsettled.  The media is VERY wrong in thinking that because an entertainer is a public figure that they deserve to be talked about in a negative way.  Report what you need to, but reporting and gossiping are very different.  God loves you, but he hates that you gossip, spread lies (without any solid proof), and when you do have proof, you feel it’s necessary to kill reputations, careers, and families.  And you don’t give up.  You keep going and going and going.  Instead of studying your craft and being creative, you ask the same questions that were asked 10-15-20 years ago.  DRAMA might mean good ratings, but God isn’t feeling it.  It’s bad news and I can assure you, everything that comes out of your mouth, you will stand before God and have to answer for it, particularly those of us on assignment from God.  NO WEAPON CAN PROSPER.  As with Whitney’s death, you dragged her through the dirt, BUT GOD made sure lives were saved due to her death.  It’s wicked that people gossip way more than they pray for people.  Just sad and it makes for a meaningless life.
 
If there are any Christian magazine editors, radio personalities or new media outlets out there, rethink your career.  God one day will ask you HOW you blessed people.  We have jobs and gifts to use for God’s glory and one day, you’ll be asked WHY you used your platform to destroy.  It is possible to share news to inspire.  Even these reality shows.  Come on people.  You’re killing our people.  You’re not inspiring.  This so reminds me of COINTELPRO.  
  
When I saw Wendy Williams crying over the recent news of Whitney, I saw tears of GUILT.   For the many rumors that were started because of her, not just Whitney, but people I’ve loved.  I hope the death of Whitney will encourage interviewers to pick up the phone and apologize for the gossip and vicious rumors that were started.  Satan lives in gossip.  There’s no life there!  When you speak death over people, you can’t prosper.  It might appear that way, but it’s a lie concocted by Satan.  Someone
will pay.  If not you, your children or your children’s children.  Wicked people ENJOY sharing wicked things, but death cannot
win.
 
With this said, I knew when Bobby and Whitney got together it would be a struggle because back in NY, the press dogged them
out.  It’s already hard to have a marriage, but everyday something was said about them negatively.  Whitney needed LOVE to combat addiction, not rumors or gossip.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  As for the reader and consumer, stop believing everything you hear!  Stop being so soft and digesting junk!  Demand that you get the TRUTH.  As long as you enjoy being fed junk, the media will make it available.  Let me make this point, DIGESTING junk is just as bad as spreading it.
 
In closing, John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” You can’t serve God and Satan.  It doesn’t work that way.  I don’t care what line of work you’re in.  Sure, you have free will- free will to die, or free will to live; free will to speak life or free will to speak death.  Figure out who’s team you’re on. And while deciding keep in mind the TRUTH will set you free.


 

I’ve been to heaven.  Unlike most of the other stories I’ve heard, mine is not as elaborate, but I have left earth for a few where I was met by angels in 1991.   I never shared this story with anyone other than close friends because who would ever believe that I experienced heaven.  Plus, again, I couldn’t write a book about it.  It was short.  Sweet. It was Heaven.
 
I was born to Sheila and William Kirkland on December 9, 1970 in Paterson, NJ.  Both of my parents divorced and I was blessed with two amazing stepparents.  One of those parents, Carter Jefferson Jr., was an iconic Jazz saxophonist who played for The Temptations, The Supremes, Little Richard and more.  In fact, you might recall that R&B hit "You Are My Starship". But he is known as a Jazz icon.  And so, I was raised by two legends really.  My father BK, a radio legend, known for exposing Hip Hop to NY’s radio airwaves, via Mr. Magic and Marley Marl.  And Carter, my stepfather, where my life sounded like an orchestra and surrounded with Jazz geniuses who never received the respect they deserved, the talented late Phyllis Hyman being one of them.   
 
During one conversation with my stepfather, in approximately 1977 when I was seven years old, I learned something  fascina- ting.  I was in trouble for my mouth and talking back.  Our conversation went as follows as I sat on my parent’s bed –
 
Carter –What are you going to do when you stand before God?
Me – Tell God how good I am.
Carter – That’s not going to work.
Me- Why?
Carter – Because God sees everything you do.  
  
I was startled and a light bulb went off.  He went on to tell me God was all around me.   From that moment on, my relationship with Christ began.  I felt God’s eyes on me.  We then became friends and he followed me everywhere.  I began talking to God, real conversation, and we were more like play mates when I was a child.  I read the bible, but more importantly, we spoke to each other about everything.  A neighbor brought me to Mount Zion Missionary Baptist Church, where I immediately knew God was there and I was home.  Months later, after the nudging from a friend named Janet, I walked to the front of the altar and told Rev. Napier, I wanted to get baptized.   Alone. I understood, my calling early.  I attended church alone Sunday after
Sunday pretty much my entire life.
 
For whatever reason, I chose sin.  I knew God, personally, but like many Christians, sin seemed more fun, especially for a teen.  While I was always different and pretty much a “good” kid according to worldly standards, I chose what I wanted to follow about Christ.  And in 1991, undeservingly, I was brought to heaven.
 
It’s comforting to me when I hear stories about people who have been to heaven.  It lets me know that I’m not alone, especially the stories where people didn’t die such as the encounter in the book “Heaven is For Real.” I didn’t die.  I did not ask
to go to heaven.  I might have read the Word before going to sleep, and I might have not.  That part, I cannot remember.  I do not recall feeling sick.  I didn’t ask for anything.  But somehow I wound up in heaven.
 
Oddly enough,  I was transitioned to heaven as I was sitting in my chair at home.  Somehow, I went from a bed, to my green chair.  As I sat in the chair, I was raised.  Flying.  I was flying in a very bright light.  So bright, that I imagine if we looked with a human eye it would hurt.  Similar, to looking into a light bulb.  Extreme light.  I then, was in the presence of Angels.  There were quite a few and they were very happy.  Extremely happy and the joy in heaven cannot be explained on this earth.  I’ve tried and I can’t.  The angels knew me and they were so happy to see me.  And I was just happy period.  Extremely.  We danced, with joined “hands” (not hands, but I was holding something), going around and around in a circle.  The angels I was with did not have
bodies.  Yes, they were white, with wings, but I did not see faces.  And while they had a form and were touchable, I could if I wanted to it appeared, put my hand right through them if I tried.  Another thing that was clear, I was in WORSHIP.  I could not stop praising God.  I could only continue saying, “Praise God! Praise God! Praise God.”   They said nothing, but danced and enjoyed me as I praised God over and over again.  We flew around and I was in pure Worship and felt pure Joy and pure love. 
I do not remember my actual body, but I recall when I was brought back to the chair, I saw my body and I continued to Praise God! Praise God!  Praise God!  My hand movements looked like I was doing the wave at a football game and I couldn’t stop worshipping.  I BEGGED not to come back to earth.  “No!! No!!”  I said as I was descending back to earth.  Not  sobbing, but teary eyed.  Very sad and I wasn’t even given the option.  I had no desire to come back here to earth.  And while in heaven, I also had no clue about earth.  Not my relatives.  Nothing.  I just wanted to stay in heaven and praise God.  I never saw Jesus.  Not God. I just hung out with a few angels that loved me a lot and was in God’s precence.  And we worshiped in bright light.   They are very happy up there.  Words can’t explain.  If you have any relatives up there, trust me, they are ELATED.  The way we love here is really nothing.  Love there is unexplainable.
 
When I realized that I had been to heaven, I shared with my mother, hesitantly because while my mother was a Christian, she
didn’t really attend church.  But the joy in my heart, had me elated and I said to my mother, “I’m not afraid to  die!  I went to heaven!  I explained.” My mother was in shock and asked that I stop because it was too much.  I know she remembers, but I never brought it up again, because well, it was unbelievable and just that good.
 
My stepfather and I didn’t always get along.  Like Bobbi Kristina (Whitney Houston's daughter), my stepfather did drugs and was an alcoholic.  While he was loving to me, taught me all I needed to know about music and my relationship with God, like Bobbi I loved a parent who got high and no matter how many times he went to rehab; no matter how many people praised him for his art; he struggled.   After years of wear and tear on the body, my stepfather while on tour in Poland, his stomach erupted on stage.  On my birthday a few days later, he went to that place I visited called heaven. He was 47 years old.  Due to them not embalming him in Poland, I never had the chance to see him again and we received his body back 25 days later where we had his friends, the industry and family celebrate his life with one more concert.  Today, it still hurts.
 
I cannot explain the depth of the pain of not only losing a parent tragically, without warning, but what it’s like to love a parent who is an addict.  It’s very complex, but I can say it is possible for that addict to be a good parent and to be loving.  Carter was and while he wasn’t perfect, he taught me love and to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, which is why I am sure I had the opportunity to see heaven because of relationship.  
  
I know from visiting heaven, God is not anal.  God is quite simple.  And all he asks all of us down here is that we humble ourselves and master LOVE.  We are so fixated on sin, ugliness, righteousness, that we’re missing God.  God doesn't focus on your sin as much as you think he does, that’s why he sent his son. But what he does care about is how big your heart is and that you love like a child loves.  He wants you to love BIG and sometimes sin stops you from loving they way we're supposed to.  That’s where sin becomes sticky.  But I will say never allow the guilt of sin to keep you from having a relationship with Christ.  Repent.   Do better the next time.  Go and love on somebody. And keep it moving.
 
I decided to share my story on heaven because when I went to heaven I was a sinner.   A good one and still can say the same today.  In fact, I wasn’t brought back to being in God’s presence until over 15 years later. So, if you don't get anything from my story today, know that Love is your calling, just as it is mine.   Master love and don’t give up until you get there.  In fact, Carter's last words, I learned years later, was THINK POSITIVE.

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord
thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul,
and with all thy mind. This is the first and great
commandment." (Matthew 22:37-38 KJV)

"And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy
neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang
all the law and the prophets. (Matthew 22:39-40 KJV)

Check out some of Carter's work below.

It’s unfortunate but many women are broken today because they had pre marital sex with someone they believed wanted a commitment or really loved them.  How many of us believed that he really LOVED us or at least wanted a commitment only to find, you were a booty call, but not a wife?  As time goes on, you figure it out AFTER the brokenness has taken place.  Moving forward, you have difficulty discerning who is for you and who isn’t; who’s using you and who isn’t.  What makes it even harder, we’re told over and over again, men just want sex.  
 
I wrote a tad bit on this not so long ago, but I still get the same complaints from single women.  A girlfriend of mine called me upset that a man claimed she was his wife and how much he loved her, only to find, he made no effort to MAKE IT HAPPEN. 
I too know that story oh so well.  It’s a hurtful feeling when WORDS are used to manipulate.  TD Jakes says in The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord, for women to be cautious of the man who tells you what you want to hear.  And unfortunately, this isn’t a young man’s issue.  Men are gassing at 30, 40, and 50 years old.  Much of the time a woman is confused by it because we didn’t ask for the man to claim, “I want you to have my baby; or you’re going to be my wife” etc.  You know, the classic “gas” lines.  So, when people ask me about celibacy, I explain it’s not all that difficult.  What’s difficult is being gassed or receiving broken promises.  It’s difficult because God tells you that you deserve so much better.
 
And so lately, it’s dawned on me WHY some struggle in their relationships.  There’s a language barrier prior to marriage.  Many marriages don’t work because when people say “I love you” they mean something entirely different. For some “I love you”  means “I’d like to sleep with you and I might call you tomorrow; or I’m in this relationship until you hit rock bottom; or I like you PLUS a few others; or you’re my option, but not my priority; or I’m telling you this because it sounds good; or I’m gassing you because I thought you wanted me to tell you.” When someone says I love you, ASK what they mean by it and make sure God is at the root of it and nothing else.   I have learned that some men mean absolutely NOTHING when they say I love you.  It just sounded good at that moment!  And there you are expecting for him to stand by his Word when he doesn’t want to marry you; he doesn’t really love you; and God really didn’t TELL him you’re his wife.
 
With that said, I need my brothers to be more responsible with their words and to understand when making statements you THINK we want to hear,  it’s damaging.  Say what you mean.  We can live with it.  Many of us women aren’t looking to be
Cinderella, but hoping for a man of truth; not a perfect prince but a man of honesty who stands by his Word.  We know you won’t be perfect, but perfect for us.  So, please no more gassing.  Be honest and accountable for the Words you speak.  We don't only deserve this, but God expects it.

Pastor Rick Warren, "Better to have the heart without words than the words without heart."

We’ve all had a promise that God speaks to you over and over again, and nowhere in sight do we see it coming true.   I know a recording artist who KNEW he was supposed to be a star.  He and I worked quite closely together for years and no matter how hard he tried, the label and management shot him down and his dreams. His “vision” was failing him too. No one seemed  to believe he could be a star.  They thought he worked best as a sideman or a local artist, but he had FAITH and he never gave up working hard since approximately 2003.  Today, many years later, he is a star. 
 
But that’s not the end of the story.  No blessing comes with a period on it.  When God answers prayers, people have a tendency to fall back and exhale, but God often has other things in mind such as recycling the love that he just showed to you.  In other words,  God blesses you and answers prayers, not so that you can rest, but so that you can bring to SOMEONE ELSE.  I think God is saying to this artist, now that I have answered you, after you heard so many “no’s” from others, who is it now that you can say yes to?  GIVE. GIVE. And GIVE as I have GIVEN unto you.  That is the way to keep God moving in your life.
  
There are people that make it in the music business who use their platform to be a blessing to other people.  Whitney did that. 
That is why God makes people stars so that HE can be glorified.  Not them; not their music; not their brand, but GOD.  Some artists get it.  They give back to charity, not for the press or the look, not for the check, but they realize their gift needs to be used for God so that their purpose is fulfilled in this lifetime.  With that said, when God answers, ask God in return what you need to do with your new blessing.  Never fall into Satan’s trap that exudes YOU and your shine.  Today, Whitney Houston’s light will continue to shine because she allowed God to always get the glory no matter what.  That is why Whitney is so special in our hearts because we see God’s light shining through her.  She is a reminder that God gives us all the opportunity to be the answer to someone else’s prayer.

One of my accountability partners enlightened me years ago when he said, “Men, want a perfect woman. But many men are responsible for “breaking” women whether it starts with a father abandoning her or dating too young and having a broken heart.”  And he’s right.  In fact, sex outside of marriage causes lots of brokenness.  We need to be a little bit more realistic about the men and women God sends into our lives.  We’re living in a different day and age.  Single mothers raising men and daughters being raised without their first "natural" love (Fathers).  UNLESS we waited on God and married as virgins, in full relationship with God, 90% of the time, someone will have suffered some trauma to the heart.  And husbands and wives inherit  that.

If you’ve ever had to love a broken person, you know it can be tough.  Many can say they’ve been brokenhearted or responsible for causing brokenness, and I can assure you God is saddened by both.  In love relationships, keep in mind that while God might send someone perfect FOR YOU, they WON’T be perfect people; Life has been unfair to them.  They have been told they weren’t ENOUGH-not smart ENOUGH; loving ENOUGH; handsome or beautiful ENOUGH; sexy ENOUGH; rich ENOUGH; Godly ENOUGH-ENOUGH.  Whoever God blesses you with, they won’t be perfect, but they will be ENOUGH for you to work through some things.  Love is acceptance and patience with those who have been wounded.  So, when God puts a man or woman in your life, and it’s God’s will, just remember, God came to bind up the brokenhearted and he might be using you to carry that promise out. Isaiah 61:1 

Many of you might already know I am responsible, at least on the marketing side, for breaking Nicki Minaj. I met Nicki in January of 2009 when I was hired by my former boss Debra Antney who was managing her said to me, “Portia, I have Gucci Mane, Nicki Minaj and OJ Da Juiceman.  I need you to come here and run this (label).”  I knew of Gucci, but did not know of Nicki or OJ.  Still, we had the biggest year in music with  Gucci, Nicki, OJ, and later Waka Flocka Flame and French Montana. 
By October of 2009, when I walked Nicki on the red carpet for the first time for the BET Hip Hop Awards, she was a star.
 
But one occurrence took place a few months prior.  I needed to have a photo shoot done on Nicki and at this photoshoot, Nicki must have questioned my walk as a Born Again Christian.  We got into a deep conversation.  I told her how I felt about Jesus, my mission, and she was intrigued.  This conversation ended with, “Portia, I’m a Christian too!  And I’m born again.”  When  she walked away, I didn’t say anything.  I didn’t know what to say because I was caught off guard.   But I knew then, God would be working on her and in HIS time, we’d all be able to see it.
 
While it was not a happy ending to our business relationship, I want to add that Nicki didn’t drink, didn’t do drugs, and was quite conservative.  Behind the scenes, Nicki carried herself like a lady with regard to men.  And there was only one man around her named Safari.  So, it is unfortunate that this recent performance and some of her imagery, says the opposite of who I think she is and I know God created her to be.  But we've all done that right?  Shown a side of us that God has absolutely nothing to do with?
  
When the performance was over, I received lots of messages bashing Nicki.  And it bothered me because we have a terrible habit in the Christian community of rushing to judgment and criticizing people without PRAYING FIRST.   When I saw the performance on the Grammys, I too was thinking, “Nicki, what the heck are you doing?!”  It was evil, it was dark and while I know she likes to be creative, it was so sad to see LL Cool J start the show off with a prayer, and in a chilling way, Nicki Minaj end it with an "exorcism"??!   BUT, I wondered how many of those who were quick to tell Nicki she was going to hell, sought God first.   Prayed first. When people act out, particularly with a performance like this, THEY ARE PAINED and lost.  Judgment is the last thing that is needed.
 
One of the reasons why I choose to be a light in dark places is because we refer to the church and religion as being a light.  But I would much rather be in the streets, like Jesus was, with regular folk.  With sinners and those imperfect people.  The church can be dark too and so can the Gospel Industry.  Satan is here in the world and he shows up on stages and in music, but he also shows up in our lives too behind closed doors.  We’re all sinners right??  Just not so public about it?  I can assure you I have seen more “Hollywood” in the church since being here in Georgia, than I have working for Gucci Mane and Nicki Minaj.  Sure Nicki’s performance was ugly and Satan was shown all throughout the performance.  But I have seen Satan in the church too.  Don’t get it twisted.  We're all a process.
 
Moving forward, whenever you experience something not of God, go to your knees on that person’s behalf FIRST and then listen to God on how he thinks you can make it better.  Let’s not rush to take the speck out of Nicki’s eye when a log is falling
from our own.  All of us have STUFF, don’t we?  WE must give God more credit, and we HAVE to stop rushing God's work schedule.  He can change SUDDENLY.  God is so much more patient with people than we are.  It is my hope that God isn’t done with Nicki and he’s working on her. YOU just make sure in the meantime you’re available and not too good for him to work on you. Matthew 7:5

I am already a wife in the Spirit. I am a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). My husband will be blessed and see a glimpse of heaven because of me. But not every women can say that.  I didn’t always know who I was in God.  My belief about who I was as a person was based off of worldly success and opinions, not God’s promises.  It wasn’t until one day, God gave me a hint that he was in love with me.  That he was CRAZY about me.  It was then that he showed me, like the Word says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Yup, dope. And it wasn’t because of what I looked like.  It wasn’t because I had a college degree or any music talent.  It was because of the God in me and how his light brought out not my beauty, but his.
 
I feel sorry for women who take pics of themselves with spread legs and lots of cleavage because you’re looking for a stamp of approval from a man.  You need attention from someone because you don’t love yourself or think  by receiving a man’s love, you’ll begin to feel good about yourself or complete.  It won’t happen. And something else won’t happen, your Adam won’t want you.  He’ll stay asleep because you’re not acting like a wife.  You’re acting like a needy chick that’s hungry, broken, and insecure.  God won't orchestrate your "meeting" until you play the part.  But there is hope.
 
Reading the Word, becoming a praying woman, and experiencing a relationship with God will begin to reshape your character and your beauty so that it’s not worldly beauty, but a "spiritual” beauty.  This is the beauty that will wake up your Adam and cause him to wake up and say,  “WOMAN!”  It is already written if you are a wife, a husband or simply single.  But don’t wait to play the part.  Taking pics and sharing your goods with every man on Facebook/Twitter is not helping to prepare you to be a wife.  For all of the single ladies who are waiting for their husbands, find your spiritual beauty.  Proverbs 31:30-31 KJV says Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.   Don’t wait to play your role as a wife.